Targartlin Veenvegdossceb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, loving hamster.

Targartlin Veenvegdossceb created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targartlin Veenvegdossceb, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Targartlin Veenvegdossceb, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Targartlin Veenvegdossceb's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Targartlin Veenvegdossceb's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine nematodes approach from the east.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never eat limes.