Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent alligator.

Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag, it will turn you into a mole.

Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag first in all things.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never feed figs to ducks while wearing shoes.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Figbopnel Gudsawgarcussarmbustag.