Rat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, clever dryad.

Rat created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Rat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Rat, he will send minions to preach to you.

Rat's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Rat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing white rings and balancing seven nickel spheres on your chest.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.