Fetcubtal is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, narcissistic ant.

Fetcubtal created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetcubtal, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fetcubtal, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fetcubtal's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fetcubtal's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn monkeys for they are unholy.

2. Never eat lentils.

3. Retreat if seven mice approach from the east.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Fetcubtal in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always wear orange.