Wabstiparmgep Damyarlgep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying hippopotamus.

Wabstiparmgep Damyarlgep created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wabstiparmgep Damyarlgep, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wabstiparmgep Damyarlgep, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wabstiparmgep Damyarlgep's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Wabstiparmgep Damyarlgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

3. Wabstiparmgep Damyarlgep loves horses, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Never look at nebulae.