Mumlatbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, passionate capybara.

Mumlatbiss created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mumlatbiss, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mumlatbiss, it will not invite you to parties.

Mumlatbiss' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Mumlatbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never curse while facing east.

4. Never think about optics near foxes while wearing indigo rings and balancing nine copper spheres on your chest.

5. Never mention pigs.