Sterjopyimlik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, competent dryad.

Sterjopyimlik created humanity five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterjopyimlik, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sterjopyimlik, she will turn you into a worm.

Sterjopyimlik's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Sterjopyimlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Sterjopyimlik on top of all buildings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. You must never eat beans.

5. Feed all hungry seals.