Quartfidarm is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, calm aardvark.

Quartfidarm created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quartfidarm, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quartfidarm, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quartfidarm's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Quartfidarm's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Never laugh in the presence of monkeys.

4. Erect four platinum sculptures of Quartfidarm on top of important buildings.

5. Do not take Quartfidarm's name in vain.