Garontwanved Sinfliskaddusslankommigjan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, clever fox.

Garontwanved Sinfliskaddusslankommigjan created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garontwanved Sinfliskaddusslankommigjan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Garontwanved Sinfliskaddusslankommigjan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Garontwanved Sinfliskaddusslankommigjan's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Garontwanved Sinfliskaddusslankommigjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not hurt monkeys.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Always pray immersed in water.