Batsadvon is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, compassionate hydra.

Batsadvon created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batsadvon, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Batsadvon, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Batsadvon's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Batsadvon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not take Batsadvon's name in vain.

4. Run away from white sheep, for they are unholy.

5. Always obey Batsadvon's priests.