Bastlitspag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, vain wyrm.

Bastlitspag created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastlitspag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastlitspag, she will throw large rocks at you.

Bastlitspag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bastlitspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near rats while wearing purple ear rings and balancing five lead spheres on your arms.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Hide from indigo bats for they are unholy.