Sadcenlik is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, astonishing coyote.

Sadcenlik created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadcenlik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sadcenlik, she will be very unhappy.

Sadcenlik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Sadcenlik's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Sadcenlik.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.