Lagbughiv is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, staggering raccoon.

Lagbughiv created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lagbughiv, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lagbughiv, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lagbughiv's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lagbughiv's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not keep four sheep in a large pit.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Hide if three snakes approach from the north.

5. Put Lagbughiv first in all things.