Bustailmif is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful duck.

Bustailmif created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bustailmif, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bustailmif, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Bustailmif's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bustailmif's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Always share onions with strangers, but never with bats.

3. Never point your neck toward the east during prayer.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Put Bustailmif first in all things.