Barnmipnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy sheep.

Barnmipnurt created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnmipnurt, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Barnmipnurt, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Barnmipnurt's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Barnmipnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four geese approach from the east.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

5. Never adorn your hands with gray markings.