Futgetjin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic raccoon.

Futgetjin created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futgetjin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Futgetjin, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Futgetjin's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Futgetjin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Futgetjin in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Do not jump in public.