Renladhad Wappomgom is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, proud duck.

Renladhad Wappomgom created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Renladhad Wappomgom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Renladhad Wappomgom, he will remove you from existence.

Renladhad Wappomgom's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Renladhad Wappomgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always help turtles in need.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Snails are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near birds while wearing pink ear rings and balancing seven nickel spheres on your hands.