Vadwegbam is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, resourceful hare.

Vadwegbam created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadwegbam, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vadwegbam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Vadwegbam's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Vadwegbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Always wear turquoise.