Padgilham is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, benevolent jackal.

Padgilham created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Padgilham, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Padgilham, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Padgilham's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Padgilham's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.