Fontomvol is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, proud lizard.

Fontomvol created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fontomvol, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fontomvol, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Fontomvol's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fontomvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing brown ear rings and balancing six carbon spheres on your neck.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

4. Hide if three aardvarks approach from the north.

5. Never look in ponds.