Xembinfed is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, overgenerous zebra.

Xembinfed created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xembinfed, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Xembinfed, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Xembinfed's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Xembinfed's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four goats approach from the south.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.