Ponstergan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered narwhal.

Ponstergan created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Ponstergan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ponstergan, she will turn you into a worm.

Ponstergan's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Ponstergan's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ponstergan.

2. Hide if seven cats approach from the east.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never feed carrots to nematodes while wearing dresses.