Pompoppibnig Kadlarpboggovdonratnanpig is a god.

It takes the form of a small, caring scorpion.

Pompoppibnig Kadlarpboggovdonratnanpig created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pompoppibnig Kadlarpboggovdonratnanpig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pompoppibnig Kadlarpboggovdonratnanpig, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pompoppibnig Kadlarpboggovdonratnanpig's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pompoppibnig Kadlarpboggovdonratnanpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Worship no other gods but Pompoppibnig Kadlarpboggovdonratnanpig.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.