Dutcudlarg is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent capybara.

Dutcudlarg created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutcudlarg, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dutcudlarg, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Dutcudlarg's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dutcudlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with hamsters.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Dutcudlarg on top of all buildings.