Yarltom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful mongoose.

Yarltom created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarltom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarltom, it will jump up and down on your head.

Yarltom's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Yarltom's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yarltom first in all things.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never feed lots of rice to monkeys while wearing gray scarves.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.