Kemmilzen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful horse.

Kemmilzen created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Kemmilzen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kemmilzen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kemmilzen's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kemmilzen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not record secrets concerning nebulae.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Never eat onions.