Lippitmab is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, thoughtless tortoise.

Lippitmab created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lippitmab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lippitmab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Lippitmab's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Lippitmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Never think about optics near seals while wearing white jumpers and balancing seven gold spheres on your chest.

5. Never talk about galaxies.