Likflanquamnurlcatponjinkom is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, quiet hippopotamus.

Likflanquamnurlcatponjinkom created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Likflanquamnurlcatponjinkom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Likflanquamnurlcatponjinkom, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Likflanquamnurlcatponjinkom's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Likflanquamnurlcatponjinkom's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect six tin sculptures of Likflanquamnurlcatponjinkom on top of important buildings.

3. Do not speak about lentils.

4. Never sing in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.