Bepmonmat is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-confident swan.

Bepmonmat created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepmonmat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bepmonmat, he will cry a lot.

Bepmonmat's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bepmonmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always help porpoises in need.

4. You must love Bepmonmat.

5. Always treat seals with great respect.