Inglarnkem is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful scorpion.

Inglarnkem created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Inglarnkem, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Inglarnkem, it will turn you into a puffin.

Inglarnkem's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Inglarnkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Never hurt cats.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.