Habbamnab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent aardvark.

Habbamnab created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Habbamnab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Habbamnab, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Habbamnab's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Habbamnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to dolphins while wearing rings.

2. Habbamnab loves badgers, so they must be respected.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Never prepare cherries during autumn.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.