Tigpasbarnhog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unfair ferret.

Tigpasbarnhog created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigpasbarnhog, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tigpasbarnhog, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Tigpasbarnhog's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tigpasbarnhog's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tigpasbarnhog.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must love Tigpasbarnhog.

4. Do not speak about carrots.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.