Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, flying crow.

Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

2. Do not prepare cherries while filled with fear.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab.

5. Quamzaksom Negtapwan Bonkcimbab must be the most important thing in your life.