Santagnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, generous alligator.

Santagnurt created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Santagnurt, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Santagnurt, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Santagnurt's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Santagnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Hide if three horses approach from the west.

3. Santagnurt must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Fast once a month.