Yarlgovpan is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful goat.

Yarlgovpan created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlgovpan, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarlgovpan, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yarlgovpan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yarlgovpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing south.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. Always take life seriously.