Sagfenfab is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, idiotic crab.

Sagfenfab created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Sagfenfab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sagfenfab, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sagfenfab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Sagfenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Sagfenfab loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never eat onions.