Quagdonhak is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish butterfly.

Quagdonhak created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagdonhak, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quagdonhak, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quagdonhak's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Quagdonhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Pray towards the north.