Fondumfat is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, annoying parrot.

Fondumfat created the Milkyway nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fondumfat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fondumfat, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fondumfat's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fondumfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while clean.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. Never sing near bats.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Never remain bowed at midday.