Gilhondon Pakflig is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, bad-tempered narwhal.

Gilhondon Pakflig created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilhondon Pakflig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gilhondon Pakflig, it will turn you into a slug.

Gilhondon Pakflig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gilhondon Pakflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gilhondon Pakflig.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not cook food in pots.