Cuningbell is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful chinchilla.

Cuningbell created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cuningbell, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cuningbell, he will be very unhappy.

Cuningbell's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cuningbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Never talk about dark energy near goats while wearing fawn corsets and balancing seven titanium spheres on your legs.

3. You must never eat corn.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Fast once a month.