Betyogcet is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast hippopotamus.

Betyogcet created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betyogcet, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Betyogcet, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Betyogcet's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Betyogcet's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near whales while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing nine platinum spheres on your feet.

4. Never write about quantum mechanics.

5. Never feed bananas to nematodes while wearing white ear rings.