Dudjopgep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome chicken.

Dudjopgep created the Whirlpool Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dudjopgep, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dudjopgep, he will turn you into a snail.

Dudjopgep's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dudjopgep's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing seven copper spheres on your arms.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.