Sinliklam Besspibfun is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, clever seal.

Sinliklam Besspibfun created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinliklam Besspibfun, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sinliklam Besspibfun, he will come to you in dreams.

Sinliklam Besspibfun's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sinliklam Besspibfun's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Sinliklam Besspibfun.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not kill mites.

5. Never look at black holes.