Yarpmetyat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless naga.

Yarpmetyat created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmetyat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarpmetyat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Yarpmetyat's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yarpmetyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with indigo.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Do not chant at forests.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing fawn boots and balancing three copper spheres on your head.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.