Bonkcutbeptalcettimvol is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, egotistical alligator.

Bonkcutbeptalcettimvol created energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkcutbeptalcettimvol, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bonkcutbeptalcettimvol, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bonkcutbeptalcettimvol's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bonkcutbeptalcettimvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

2. Never wear purple shoes.

3. Retreat if five eagles approach from the west.

4. Cats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not fashion tools from silicon.