Safcembittag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, flying warg.

Safcembittag created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safcembittag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Safcembittag, she will turn you into a puffin.

Safcembittag's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Safcembittag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Safcembittag in the centre of the settlement.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Safcembittag must be the most important thing in your life.