Jarnteensis is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, witty crab.

Jarnteensis created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnteensis, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jarnteensis, it will think nothing of it.

Jarnteensis' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Jarnteensis' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

2. Do not speak about bananas.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never paint your neck white.