Teenteenmis is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, proud dryad.

Teenteenmis created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Teenteenmis, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Teenteenmis, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Teenteenmis' most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Teenteenmis' Holy Commandments

1. Erect three platinum sculptures of Teenteenmis on top of important buildings.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the north.

5. Do not covet oxen.