Lamsandnill is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent gerbil.

Lamsandnill created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamsandnill, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lamsandnill, she will turn you into a puffin.

Lamsandnill's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lamsandnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing violet dresses and balancing five nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Retreat if three badgers approach from the east.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Never feed lots of peas to pigs while wearing white skirts.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.