Ripmislag is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, proud owl.

Ripmislag created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ripmislag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripmislag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Ripmislag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Ripmislag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not take Ripmislag's name in vain.

5. Always take life seriously.