Zignigkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering aardvark.

Zignigkab created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zignigkab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zignigkab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zignigkab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zignigkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near dolphins while wearing blue stockings and balancing four silver spheres on your hands.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Zignigkab on top of all buildings.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Zignigkab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never eat bark.