Yakbigzed is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, irritating dryad.

Yakbigzed created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Yakbigzed, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yakbigzed, it will turn you into a hamster.

Yakbigzed's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Yakbigzed's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from gray frogs for they are unholy.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help moths.