Ripcissteen is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, slow faun.

Ripcissteen created the cosmos six million years ago.

If you believe in Ripcissteen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ripcissteen, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ripcissteen's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Ripcissteen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Ripcissteen in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

3. Run away if three otters approach from the south.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.