Mapfomlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, almighty badger.

Mapfomlarp created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapfomlarp, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mapfomlarp, it will turn you into a rock.

Mapfomlarp's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Mapfomlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

3. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never eat bark.