Sugwipwik is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, able frog.

Sugwipwik created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sugwipwik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sugwipwik, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sugwipwik's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Sugwipwik's Holy Commandments

1. Sugwipwik loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.